Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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