As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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