STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
