This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
