You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
