I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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