Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
So much rum. So many feels.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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