some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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