Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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