mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
