CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
