I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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