Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
