in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
