Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
