peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
