I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
