i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
