after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
