I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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