Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
