Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
