i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
