They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
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