Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Randomize
