I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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