As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize