it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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