no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Is that strawberry winking at me??
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
