That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Randomize
