You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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