worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
