Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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