my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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