Can Purell be used as lube?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize