She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
