I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
