I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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