i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
There's always time for handjobs
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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