Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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