So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
