Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
