You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
