honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
