Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
