So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
