I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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