absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
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