How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
We had to coat check the pizza.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
