yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
