Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
