Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
she pinky promised me she was 18
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Randomize
