The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Dignity is for republicans.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
