At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
