Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
