I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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