Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
