I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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